40th Birthday Jokes Part 1

Never attempt bending down, except under strict medical supervision.

Develop the power of a photographic memory – take photographs of everyone you need to remember.

Use your ailing health to blackmail your children into doing all your gardening and housework.

Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy.

Should you ever get the urge to go ‘all night clubing’ apply the simple rule – forget it!!

Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger.

Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday.